Focusing on my Health

For my entire life, I've struggled with my weight. As a child I was always chubby and I thinned out in grade 8 and kept an acceptable weight for most of highschool because I was a workaholic and life was pretty stress free.

My first year of university I must have gained 30+ pounds because I wasn't working and was just eating garbage every single day. I lost a bit of weight after doing a Mcmaster weightlifting study but remained slightly obese for most of my university/college years.

My biggest issue is food. I eat junk when I'm happy, sad or stressed which means I'm always eating junk. When I gain weight I become insecure and I become a different person.

Only twice in my life did I feel really comfortable in my body. The first time was when I started dating Laura in highschool when I was in OAC, I was slightly pudgy but was strong and in shape and the other was when I met Katie. When I met Katie, I was 188 pounds and had solid muscle, I was staying active, eating healthy and working out 3-4 times a week.

Since I've married Katie, I've gained roughly 90 pounds and I'm not happy with my current weight but I'm also not insecure like I have been in the past. Between running a high stress business and working 16 years on continental shift, my weight has slowly ballooned to 279 pounds. The heaviest I've ever been. I've gained 25 pounds this year alone from the stress of running festivals.

Now a big reason my first serious relationship didn't work out was because of my weight. I was very insecure and took out my insecurities on Laura, there were many other issues but me being insecure definitely intensified the issues. Although I feel more comfortable in my body now and Katie tells me she loves me and finds me attractive no matter what, I don't want to be obese and out of shape. I know what it feels like to be in shape and really want to get back to that point in my life not only for me but for my children and Katie. I want to be a positive role model for my family.

So starting today, I'm going to start taking my physical and mental health seriously. I'd love to get down to 190-200 pounds again. I'm hoping this journal will make it easier for me to hold myself accountable for my lifestyle choices.

The first thing I'm going to do is start a fast. I've done fasting in the past and it isn't that difficult after the 48 hour mark. I'll go for as long as I can and stop when my body tells me to stop. That should jumpstart my metabolism and reset my body for a new healthier me.